April Fool

An many people do, I was up early this morning scouring the newspapers for the April Fool jokes.

And yes I very quickly found the flying penguins and Alistair Darling trying his luck with a scratch card.

Problem was that with the state of Britain as it is I just could not STOP finding jokes. So here are a few that are worthy of the epithet ‘April Fool!’

First up is Harriet Harman (or Harperson, Harpic or Harridan, take your pick). Yesterday she did a walk about in her own constituency in Peckham to proclaim the fall in crime and extra funding for the police. However, even though she was surrounded by policemen, she wore a stab proof vest.

Second up for joke of the year is that it is now illegal to chat up a barmaid. Yes, and not only that but the landlord can be fined for allowing it. Ask any competent barmaid or flight attendant, they can sort out an unpleasant, sexist drunk without recourse to law.

Or have you heard the one about the thousands of poor Northern Rock mortgagees about to get their homes repossessed while the ex Chief Exec who created the mess gets a million pound payout.

Or, on a lighter note, the women who stalked HERSELF

I could go on but this is just a selection of items from the papers today.

Thank God April Fools Day only comes around once a year.

BTW. If you want a laugh tomorrow listen to Prime Minister’s Questions. It’s Harriet ‘Stab Proof’ Harperson versus our very own Boris Johnson. The first time a backbench MP has lead PMQs since Asquith’s time. So Harriet, don’t forget you vest and you had better bring your tin helmet as well.