Another light hearted piece, I will get into the more serious stuff next week

I am getting increasingly alarmed at what people choose as the names for their children and will give you a few examples and suggest some of the ways things may be trending

I was at an event recently and two of the children were named India and China respectively. Is this a new trend I wonder, naming children after countries, and if it is how will it develop, will we see a two year old toddling around in nappies called Democratic Republic of the Congo and when a child gets to school how will United Arab Emirates or Bosnia and Herzegovina get shortened. I guess with names like this they should at least try and sit for GCSE in Geography.

Another fashion is naming children after the seasons like Spring and Autumn so do these kids change their name every three months? This is presumably a continuation of the trend to name children after the time they were born. With the onslaught of political correctness will a Christmas baby who may have been called Christine or Noel in the past now be called Winterval?

And finally the place where the baby was conceived now seems to be a favourite for some people although in my opinion this is in many ways the most frightening.

How could you go through life being called ‘The back seat of a Mark II Ford Cortina in a lay by off the A13’ or ‘The economy toilet of an Airbus flying back from Faliraki’

So if someone asks your opinion on the name of a newborn try and avoid Myanma Naingngandaw (the full name for Burma), Winter, the alley at the back of Tescos unless of course that mouthful goes well with the surname.